The Choli Diagnosis

ELECTION is in the air and there is a whole lot of bullshit everywhere. So, Pat. Does that make me a rhyming artist yet ? Hahaha. 


On a serious note, we're at a point where you don't have to read in between the lines in the local newspapers to know what's going on. As much as I'd like to keep my political observations in a private setting, I can't help openly noticing stuff that has been going on around me. And sadly, it's been going around at a rate of dizzying predictability. Yesterday a certain politican tried to shove some cash into my closed palm. Alarmed, I moved back but as in a perfect tango, he stepped in to drop the folded note into my front-facing sling bag. I shoved it back at him but he managed to block my arm with a perfect karate chop. It wasn't a good sight, really. 


"Keep that for a drink. I don't want it back," he said. 


"I'm still not going to use it," I replied. So as in previous such episodes with some of these people, the money went straight into a charity offering box. Just like that, there's a lot of money that's being circulated  via various channels lately, which got me into thinking about public gullibility. I mean, really? Oh well. I should stop before I get banned on here. Hahaha. 


On another note, a rather funny one at that, I was caught up in a weird situation with a man yesterday at a tailor's place. I was there to choose a design and leave my measurements for a saree blouse (or a Choli) order for my latest green saree, and I must say, I've never had anyone diagnose my measurements so much. It's important to have a good tailor for a Choli because the mid-drift baring blouse worn before a saree must fit like a perfect sports bra. Not tight but it should cling comfortably like a wet singlet on the skin while giving the chest area the lift it needs. 

The Choli Diagnosis began with me settling on a design from a design book. A pretty decent back design with a plunging neckline, which in my opinion, made no difference as it will be covered by the saree anyway. 


"But that will be too low, Miss," said the Indian tailor. Ironically, most Choli tailors are men and they always caution you about a low neck line. Why, I don't really know but ...


"Can you still do that for me ?"


"Can. But it will be too low"


"But I like".  

At this point, I took out a sample saree blouse (sewn at a different place), which I had brought along for reference while he continued to measure my shoulder width. So many questions asked and I offered to put on my blouse so he could see it for himself and with that, the next five minutes must have been one of thee most uncomfortable minutes of my life. I had this hipster jeans on with the little blouse on top while the poker-faced tailor examined the blouse, trying to ask me in so many subtle and polite words, where the centre of my breasts were. 


"Are you sure this is the centre point ?," he asked, pointing at the cup using a pen. 


"Hmm. I don't know. I think so". He nodded to my reply and left while I quickly assessed the situation and came back with ...


"I think the cups are a little too high". 


"Yes. That's why I asked. The measurements didn't add up earlier," he said. 

Apparently, my chest measurements did not add up to the blouse I'd brought along, and I must admit that the Choli was somewhat ill-fitting in that region too. Uncomfortable diagnosis yes, but I'm glad that it was sorted out and the new blouse better be the best I have !