Sunday, October 21, 2012

Stress, Burn and Total Nothingness

WHAT a testing month it has been. A family medical emergency had me under a lot of stress just before my move to the middle east next week. Thanks to all the prayers and positive energy channeled our way along with expert advice and care, we have a better idea on what's going on with my dad for the next course of action. Well, there's going to be close monitoring with medications in the following weeks but the temporary relief provided by science, information and intuition is good for my stomach more than anything else. 


My stomach and I have a long history together, mostly unpleasant, nevertheless there's been way too many moments in my personal medical history to ignore them. For those who know me well would also know of my chaotic digestive system. I feel like my stomach has a built-in aquarium with bubbly fishes swimming in it most of the time. Stress - the mother of all fuck-ups, is its biggest nemesis. It's like I can feel the stomach ooze out burning acid when my head smells stress from a mile away. Acid reflux, nausea and the whole works have been a part of my life. Matters became worse last month when I experienced heart burn that felt like a heart attack. 

I got an upper gastrointestinal endoscopy done with the same doctor who's been looking after my dad earlier this week. What an experience it was because I have none registered in my head. The shot they gave to keep me unconscious throughout the procedure took me out of the world instantaneously. A total cut off from both the physical and dream world. It even put my soul to sleep. Just nothingness. No wonder MJ was hooked on this sort of thing till he refused to return to reality one day. 

Maybe death is all that. Maybe that's how the concept of rebirth rolls - soul leaves and forgets body and is reborn into a different life. A mere recycling of energy. A process of life renewing itself. When I woke up, it was like I've had 15 tequila shots, minus the hangover. Oh nice. The proof of the procedure came later in a video and printed photographs of my esophagus, stomach and small bowel.  

Turns out, my stomach has been an unwilling host to a colony of nasty bacteria. Damn colonising organism. I hope they're all dead by next weekend, after which I may enjoy a better quality of life. Till then, I have a week with the colony during which I'd be on a cocktail of prescribed antibiotics. I'm so not looking forward to it but if it's going to eliminate them from my system for good, then I'm just going have to do it!



21 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry to hear that you've been going through all this Jaya and the same applies to your father as well, I hope the antibiotics works ahead of your big move and that your dad recovers too. That paragraph about Michael Jackson struck me hard too. I've had those kind of drugs before and they're so good but what you experience isn't reality and if you can't realise that and accept that then you're in big trouble, it's sad.

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    1. thanks Matthew. yeah. those kind of drugs must be a godsent for medical reasons.

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  2. Hi Jaya,

    This past week.I was down with food poisoning and I have just finished my quota of antibiotics and feel much better. Hope you do too soon as well!

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    1. hello Duncan. hope you're completely well soon. thank you!

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  3. The good thing is that you know what the problem is instead of having some mystery illness the doctors can't diagnose. Hope the antibiotics do their job and best wishes for your dad.

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    1. true that. the antibiotics are turning my world upside down, GB. they're making me sick :(

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  4. You’re far too young to have stress wreaking havoc on your digestive system! I hope the course of antibiotics will rid you of the problem permanently. (Yeah, I know, stress itself never ends…)
    I also hope your father’s health improves.
    Take care!

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    1. haha. yeah but stress never left any one of us. im already taking the meds and i dont like them at all but i hope to get better soon. thanks Beth :)

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  5. At least the doctors figured it out, that is a big plus. Now hopefully those nasty thing can take a hike, my cat has the same thing too and me, I'm just all acidic at my zoo haha

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    1. oh yeah. they better leave me, those nasty things. take care of you and thanks Pat :D

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  6. Those bacteria can cause ulcers and also precancerous cells, so I'm really glad to hear you are taking care of it.

    You're moving to the middle east?

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    1. it's h. pylori - can cause stomach cancer in some people. can't take the risk and seriously, it's been bad for my quality of life.

      i'm moving to Doha in Qatar, the husband has been there for some time.
      time for me to move as well.

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  7. I'm so sorry you've had these problems but so grateful you now know the reason. I'll pray that your meds work and kill those nasty buggers.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. thanks Janie. i appreciate that a lot.
      :)

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  8. I could do with some of that death-sleep. I've been having issues with my wisdom teeth and oh, the pain! I've never experienced the likes of it before in my life! So I'm on painkillers until the dentist takes them out.

    All the best to your Dad (and yourself)... hope you both recover soon!

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    1. oh that sounds like tremendous pain. any toothache is bad enough, cant imagine that. hope you get it sorted out asap. my wisdom teeth - lol. the dentist told me not to worry as they won't even try to make an appearance since i have a really small mouth.

      thanks Azra. hope we get better soon.
      :)

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  9. stress cause more illness than people realize. I know it and I see it. It is amazing the mind body connection..
    hope you get well soon!!
    wow.. and good luck with your move, that alone is stressful!
    but like my friend told me today worry or pray, but don't do both.

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  10. Sending wishes of health to you and your dad.

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  11. Ugh, I can somewhat relate except instead of my stomach it's my lung.

    I'm also certain my lung are a reason why I sleep so poorly too.

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  12. Well good luck Jaya! You go kill that bacteria! However, I kinda like the idea of 15 tequila shots without the hangover!

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  13. I'm sorry to hear you've not been doing too well, Jaya J. How are you now?

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