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The Choli Diagnosis

ELECTION is in the air and there is a whole lot of bullshit everywhere. So, Pat. Does that make me a rhyming artist yet ? Hahaha. 


On a serious note, we're at a point where you don't have to read in between the lines in the local newspapers to know what's going on. As much as I'd like to keep my political observations in a private setting, I can't help openly noticing stuff that has been going on around me. And sadly, it's been going around at a rate of dizzying predictability. Yesterday a certain politican tried to shove some cash into my closed palm. Alarmed, I moved back but as in a perfect tango, he stepped in to drop the folded note into my front-facing sling bag. I shoved it back at him but he managed to block my arm with a perfect karate chop. It wasn't a good sight, really. 


"Keep that for a drink. I don't want it back," he said. 


"I'm still not going to use it," I replied. So as in previous such episodes with some of these people, the money went straight into a charity offering box. Just like that, there's a lot of money that's being circulated  via various channels lately, which got me into thinking about public gullibility. I mean, really? Oh well. I should stop before I get banned on here. Hahaha. 


On another note, a rather funny one at that, I was caught up in a weird situation with a man yesterday at a tailor's place. I was there to choose a design and leave my measurements for a saree blouse (or a Choli) order for my latest green saree, and I must say, I've never had anyone diagnose my measurements so much. It's important to have a good tailor for a Choli because the mid-drift baring blouse worn before a saree must fit like a perfect sports bra. Not tight but it should cling comfortably like a wet singlet on the skin while giving the chest area the lift it needs. 


The Choli Diagnosis began with me settling on a design from a design book. A pretty decent back design with a plunging neckline, which in my opinion, made no difference as it will be covered by the saree anyway. 


"But that will be too low, Miss," said the Indian tailor. Ironically, most Choli tailors are men and they always caution you about a low neck line. Why, I don't really know but ...


"Can you still do that for me ?"


"Can. But it will be too low"


"But I like".  


At this point, I took out a sample saree blouse (sewn at a different place), which I had brought along for reference while he continued to measure my shoulder width. So many questions asked and I offered to put on my blouse so he could see it for himself and with that, the next five minutes must have been one of thee most uncomfortable minutes of my life. I had this hipster jeans on with the little blouse on top while the poker-faced tailor examined the blouse, trying to ask me in so many subtle and polite words, where the centre of my breasts were. 


"Are you sure this is the centre point ?," he asked, pointing at the cup using a pen. 


"Hmm. I don't know. I think so". He nodded to my reply and left while I quickly assessed the situation and came back with ...


"I think the cups are a little too high". 


"Yes. That's why I asked. The measurements didn't add up earlier," he said. 


Apparently, my chest measurements did not add up to the blouse I'd brought along, and I must admit that the Choli was somewhat ill-fitting in that region too. Uncomfortable diagnosis yes, but I'm glad that it was sorted out and the new blouse better be the best I have ! 









Comments

  1. I'll be having a suit measured for the Irish Ball in KL this forthcoming weekend and will make sure that my tailor knows exactly where the centre of my breasts are. It's being held at the KL Hilton incidentally!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you do exactly that. it's important that you get that right. haha.
      have fun and do think of me :p
      i might be there too for a friend's birthday do.

      Delete
  2. Politicians handing out cash? Well I never.... ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. am i to complete it ? hahaha

      Delete
  3. That first bit made me laugh so much Jaya, I'm sure Pat's proud of you! There's nothing worse than a pervy tailor either haha!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. apparently Pat is, Matthew :p
      i suppose the tailor wasn't pervy, he was just as uncomfortable as i was. haha.

      Delete
  4. haha that sounds like a weird situation indeed, but let's hope after it everything fits perfectly and LOL you're on your way to becoming a rhyming artist.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Awwwwkward. I'm not a fan of male tailors for women. Too much grabbing needs to occur when you're tailoring something, in my opinion..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. me too but there seem to be more men and the women when it comes to it, Gia.
      grabbing is no fun :(

      Delete
  6. May your saree blouse (Choli) looks as beautiful as those in the pictures - I’m sure it will! Post a picture?

    politics + bribery = NOT good…

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i hope it turns out nice, Beth :p
      if i'm not posting it here, i'll e-mail it to you :)

      yeah, not good :(

      Delete
  7. I'm always amused by stories about, let's say, 'delicate' situations. People are funny. Good thing I'm not a girl. I'd've given the poor man a heart attack. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i'd think so too, RC. you'd probably give the guy a heart attack :p

      Delete
  8. I almost forgot.... a politician GIVING money? URGING you to accept it? As in a b.r.i.b.e.? I'm not a fan of politicians. I rarely write about them, except when I know Pat's gonna read it :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. me too. but i can't avoid them in my line of work. yikes.
      :p

      Delete
  9. No one ever offered me money when I was a reporter, but some men came on to me. It was uncomfortable. One chased me to my car. I thought he was going to jump in and go back to the newsroom with me.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah, that happens too :) haha.
      although right now, the sound of a newsroom gives me a headache.

      Delete
  10. I never knew women in sarees don't wear a bra. It reminds me of Scotsmen not wearing anything under the kilt. Maybe you should have drawn bullseyes on the choli to indicate where the centre of your breasts were.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh GB, hahaha. some people still wear a bra under those but i prefer pads in them, so can minus off the troublesome bra :)
      when im in a fitting room next, i'll remember the bullseyes :p

      Delete
  11. Hey I bought this tux tee last week and my chest barely made it look humorous.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i cant picture that really. hahaha.

      Delete
  12. Haha. I can't imagine trying to keep a straight face while some Indian guy is trying to find the centre point of your boobs. At least you'll get an awesome Sari out of it :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i know rite?? but let's hope so, Azra :)

      Delete
  13. I always have a problem with this! Esp, when they ask things like cup centre point and all. Gah!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. welcome here, Archana :)
      i'm sure there are many who share our little issue here.

      Delete
  14. Hmmm... politicians :P

    LOL. I can imagine how awkward it must have been.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I wonder why most of the tailors are men?. I would have thought women would know more about womens bodies than that hapless tailor you encountered?. Maybe he was related to the glad handing politican?. Check the saree afterwards to make sure the tailor hasn't sewn in 'i support this candidate...'

    ReplyDelete
  16. Politicians and cash...I couldn't do much as my hands were always on the controls.
    Buut then again, they would not be so generous were the money actually their own heard earned cash.

    ReplyDelete

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